How do you tell a story about something so devastating that it’s changed your very
existence—something so fresh in your mind and close to your heart? How do you move on from devastation? How do you adapt to life again after something so terribly tragic? I ask myself these questions every day.
And as I seek to live well in my new reality, ongoing debates continue to encircle my
mind. In fact, two questions in particular seem stuck on replay: how is anyone to survive a life of chaos, and how does that chaos from the past play a part in life today?
We as people only understand what we know—what we’ve experienced ourselves or
learned from others along the way. So if we don’t know that something is wrong, or messed up, or should be changed, how can we be faulted?
Somehow, it’s up to the person to recognize the destructive pattern and break what needs to be broken so it doesn’t manifest in some new way years down the line. If you understand a person’s mentality—why they act the way they do and why they continue to hurt everyone around them—then you can begin to understand a generational curse that follows a family. I feel that once you recognize you’re in a bad cycle, it’s your responsibility to break that cycle, to stop and change course, to leave a new legacy.
The best way I know how to tell this part of my story is to just let it flow. To just let it out
and see what I write. I’ve fought myself for years on what I wanted to say. You see, my life is unique. I always say I’m not built like the rest; I’m stitched from a different cloth. It’s funny how we’re born into something, only to find we don’t fit.
Just know that as I tell my story, I feel my best attributes in life are my children. I believe
they’re ultimately my greatest gift I’ve given the world. I’m not a perfect person, which means I’m not a perfect parent, but my heart has always wanted the best for my kids. I’ve learned and grown at each stage of life, and I pray I continue to grow into the person God envisions for me.
This is page one of my first book, please share what you think.